Sunday, December 16, 2007

The FBI, CIA, and LAPD ...

... are on a training exercise together. They've been taken out into the Angeles National Forest and told a bear has been released within a mile of their spot. Their job: to go get the bear. They have twenty minutes each ...

The CIA goes first. Highly trained agents skulk silently into the forest, flitting here and there, tree to tree, quiet as ghosts. And ... twenty minutes later they coming stomping out of the forest, angry and embarrassed. "We can't find the bear."

So the FBI goes in. They crash into the forest knocking down small trees and frightening the raccoons, screaming "Go! Go! Go!" just as in your basic Michael Bay movie. After twenty minutes of knocking about ... they some sulking out of the forest, sullen as teenagers. "We can't find the bear."

A SWAT team from the LAPD goes in next, billy clubs swinging. They don't skulk, they don't run, they just walk in like they own the fuckin' forest, and vanish from sight. Only a minute or two passes ... and then there's a terrible eruption of noise, a bloodcurdling scream ... and a minute later the LAPD swaggers back out of the forest. Two of the cops are carrying the suspect ...

... a bloody fluffy white rabbit, who's screaming "OK, I'm a bear, I'm a bear!"

4 comments:

J.D. Ray said...

Ah, yes, the ever-vigilant LAPD...

Tony said...

Well Sunday morning the Minneapolis PD SWATies did their best LAPD impression.

http://www.startribune.com/local/12578176.html

But minutes after a SWAT team entered the house about 12:30 a.m., things went awry. The homeowner, a father of six, thinking the intruders were burglars, fired at them through a bedroom wall. He hit two officers, one in the back and one in the head, but both were uninjured because they were wearing protective armor. Police shot back, but did not hit him.

Hours later, police officials were apologizing to the homeowner, Vang Khang, admitting that they had erred based on bad information from an informant.

A very lucky family intruth.

Lance Brown said...

Funny joke!

The Mpls incident is damn scary. Everyone is very lucky no one was hurt.....

Anonymous said...

The CIA would claim the bear escaped into the Pakistani mountains, and call in massive airstrikes, while a small division of them spirits the bear away for it's dialysis.

MLL